What is President Obama thinking? First he goes around bowing to foreign Kings, apologizing to the world for perceived discourtesies, offering olive branches in exchange for billy clubs, and now after all this kowtowing he turns around and commits cold blooded murder, on camera!

In case you haven’t yet seen it President Obama was caught on camera, with malice and aforethought, slapping the life out of the Whitehouse fly. To make matters worse he was encouraged and congratulated by the CNBC News reporter on camera with him, as well as several off camera observers. What is this world coming to?

As with all things political the consequences of Mr. Obama’s actions have begun to come to light. The D.C. law firm of Dewey, Cheetum and Howe is in the process of contacting the widows and orphans of the newly deceased insect. The Whitehouse fly, or Whitey as he was affectionately known, was known to be of a promiscuous nature and the number of his dependents is expected to be in the thousands. A civil action suit including the President, the Federal government, and CNBC News is expected to be filed within the next couple of weeks. The D.C. Police Department has not yet responded to our enquiries so the possibility of criminal charges still exists.

On a broader scale the International Housefly Consortium is said to be taking a retaliatory stance on the matter. While it has long been rumored that the IHC has secretly been collecting tiny amounts of enriched uranium, it is now suspected the group has conglomerated enough of the radioactive material to pose a serious threat. Intelligence chatter between the IHC and North Korea has picked up considerably in recent days. We contacted a spokesfly for the IHC and although we can’t be absolutely certain because they are very difficult to understand we think he said, “Although we have no religion to base our actions upon, we are convinced that God is on our side.”

Reports, opinions and suspicions continue to swarm as this story develops and people around the world react to the news. As one worried person in Baghdad put it, “It makes you wonder what kind of person he really is. Perhaps the fly was only reaching out in friendship, and what did he get? SMAK!!”

After all his efforts to convince the nations of the world that he is a man of peace; after all the rhetoric of new beginnings, change, and worldwide brotherhood, in one swift movement we find ourselves on the very brink of inter-species war. What happens now Mr. President? Will you negotiate? Will you retreat? Or, will you at last stand up and declare to the world that America is a no fly zone?

Satirically yours,

Tim Couch